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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58454) - you deserved it (3709)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58485) - you deserved it (156384)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (11424)
On 07/02/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by ChocoMilkManG (man) - United States
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16704) - you deserved it (36867)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57752) - you deserved it (16749)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64871) - you deserved it (3049)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (14771)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (15700)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50119) - you deserved it (4786)
On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53643) - you deserved it (3143)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83475) - you deserved it (3823)
On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42060) - you deserved it (3016)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:18am - intimacy - by conductingfromthegrave (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12244) - you deserved it (37562)
On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67148) - you deserved it (9715)
On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11677) - you deserved it (65523)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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