Dikkanen

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Dikkanen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9392
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dikkanen's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:45pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:47am

Dikkanen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dikkanen's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML

by dumped / 07/01/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

by kewlio45 / 07/01/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

by conductingfromthegrave / 07/01/2009 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

by annoyedguy / 06/30/2009 at 7:20am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 12:49am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

by Tonya / 06/27/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML

by LoLLightning / 06/27/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

by Fred / 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work