Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2748
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Diagon_Blix : FML.

Diagon_Blix's page activity

Visits<b>Nicky816</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:37am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:03am<b>yvonnep</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:04am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:09am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:47pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:36pm<b>monkeyCanDoMYJob</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 8:47pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:41am<b>cammi629</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 7:34pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:29am<b>Some_person_here</b> - the 12/09/2010 at 7:30pm<b>illmatic2</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 8:24pm<b>666Alyssa</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 6:19pm<b>lovelylady543</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 4:14pm<b>monsterDONG</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 3:20pm<b>liscooterboy24</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 5:59pm<b>tealoreal</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 1:12am

Diagon_Blix's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Diagon_Blix's favorite FMLs

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (72930)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (153389)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (79909) - you deserved it (11923)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (79230) - you deserved it (15465)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33033) - you deserved it (81623)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML


I agree, your life sucks (196020) - you deserved it (49911)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: