Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Diagon_Blix

Search for a member

Diagon_Blix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2506
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Diagon_Blix : FML.

Diagon_Blix's page activity

Visits<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:03am<b>yvonnep</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:04am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:09am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:47pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:36pm<b>monkeyCanDoMYJob</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 8:47pm<b>cammi629</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 7:34pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:29am<b>Some_person_here</b> - the 12/09/2010 at 7:30pm<b>illmatic2</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 8:24pm<b>666Alyssa</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 6:19pm<b>lovelylady543</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 4:14pm<b>monsterDONG</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 3:20pm<b>liscooterboy24</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 5:59pm<b>tealoreal</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 1:12am<b>rajitdua</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 6:01am<b>iLol</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 4:17am

Diagon_Blix's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Diagon_Blix's favorite FMLs

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16560) - you deserved it (68343)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (141538)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74974) - you deserved it (10811)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73687) - you deserved it (14070)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (78298)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178300) - you deserved it (45713)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: