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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2880
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Diagon_Blix : FML.

Diagon_Blix's page activity

Visits<b>Nicky816</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:37am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:03am<b>yvonnep</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:04am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:09am<b>Tari</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:47pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:36pm<b>monkeyCanDoMYJob</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 8:47pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:41am<b>cammi629</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 7:34pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:29am<b>Some_person_here</b> - the 12/09/2010 at 7:30pm<b>illmatic2</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 8:24pm<b>666Alyssa</b> - the 07/02/2010 at 6:19pm<b>lovelylady543</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 4:14pm<b>monsterDONG</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 3:20pm<b>liscooterboy24</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 5:59pm<b>tealoreal</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 1:12am

Diagon_Blix's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Diagon_Blix's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

by waterproblem / 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

by bathroomseww / 05/12/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

by notsexy / 05/09/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy