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Diagon_Blix

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Diagon_Blix
  • Town/Country : RedneckHellhole, Mississippi, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2392
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Diagon_Blix : FML.

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Diagon_Blix's favorite FMLs

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (65109)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (133734)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68683) - you deserved it (9771)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70459) - you deserved it (13279)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (74823)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161910) - you deserved it (39910)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)



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