Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Destro109

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

Destro109

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 551
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Destro109 : I find this place highly amusing.

Destro109's page activity

Visits<b>_Heisenberg__</b> - yesterday at 10:13pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:17am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:47am<b>mclovin22897</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:48pm<b>theisevan</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 7:49am<b>atl904</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:07pm<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:33am<b>urinal_shitter</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Martyna0611</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:33pm<b>atalanta18</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:15pm<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:53am<b>userwithaname</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:46am<b>scarman</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:43am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:40pm<b>thenameis_pie</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:36am<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 7:37am

Destro109's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Destro109's badges

Destro109's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (3074)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (2294)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (8627)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (12078)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (42444)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (7329)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61920) - you deserved it (4089)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (3516)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34567) - you deserved it (5584)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (9064)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (23085)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21470) - you deserved it (35229)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39994) - you deserved it (4509)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: