Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Destro109

Offline (the 02/09/2015 at 4:02am) | Search for a member

Destro109

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1527
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Destro109 : I find this place highly amusing.

Destro109's page activity

Visits<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:47pm<b>rylaii</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:34am<b>_Heisenberg__</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:17am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:47am<b>mclovin22897</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:48pm<b>theisevan</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 7:49am<b>atl904</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:07pm<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:33am<b>urinal_shitter</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Martyna0611</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:33pm<b>atalanta18</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:15pm<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:53am<b>userwithaname</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:46am<b>scarman</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:43am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:40pm

Fucked!<b>thenameis_pie</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:08am<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:16pm

Destro109's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Destro109's badges

Destro109's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (11275)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35673) - you deserved it (3742)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (4469)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (7347)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37038) - you deserved it (4743)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42749) - you deserved it (5154)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

#21268378
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40443) - you deserved it (13634)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43772) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39863) - you deserved it (3545)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38943) - you deserved it (3433)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (11647)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (4052)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: