Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Destro109

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

Destro109

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 709
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Destro109 : I find this place highly amusing.

Destro109's page activity

Visits<b>_Heisenberg__</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:13pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:17am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:23pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:47am<b>mclovin22897</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:48pm<b>theisevan</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 7:49am<b>atl904</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:07pm<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:33am<b>urinal_shitter</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Martyna0611</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:33pm<b>atalanta18</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:15pm<b>imbackwiththeshi</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:53am<b>userwithaname</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:46am<b>scarman</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:43am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 1:40pm<b>thenameis_pie</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:36am<b>sarah1024</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 7:37am

Liked!<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:16pm

Destro109's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Destro109's badges

Destro109's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (2689)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (9170)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (3495)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35998) - you deserved it (8437)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41561) - you deserved it (5627)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (13721)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19033) - you deserved it (44446)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44952) - you deserved it (7569)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (5626)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40049) - you deserved it (4514)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (11489)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50401) - you deserved it (6780)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: