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Desfar's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
by blink_kid / 08/10/2012 at 8:57am / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous
by ellieowenie / 07/29/2012 at 4:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML
by Julie is in pain / 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML
by sopissed / 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by runner2731 / 06/08/2012 at 4:09am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…