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DesB

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DesB
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8957
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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DesB's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

#17260733
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12178) - you deserved it (33133)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm - kids - by unnamed - United States (California)

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

#17246888
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (2441)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by ugly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

#17246685
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (3358)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by 88_OP (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

#17245235
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (2170)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML

#17242973
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32018) - you deserved it (4741)

On 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

#17241320
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (8209)

On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (6025)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39299) - you deserved it (5245) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

#17232023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (2635)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by Norah (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

#17231826
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (2678)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57000) - you deserved it (6812)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

#17227486
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (5128)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:00am - love - by Baconcook3000 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33583) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26580) - you deserved it (3991)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

#17224016
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/23/2011 at 12:05am - kids - by oliveoyl (woman) - United States (California)



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