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DesB's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
DesB's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML
by Savannah / 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm / United States (Alaska) / Money
by OhDeary / 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by burn / 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
by howniceofyou / 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
by notsurprised / 08/01/2011 at 8:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML
by americanbln / 08/01/2011 at 4:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 4:32am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML
by tired / 08/01/2011 at 4:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by preggo / 07/31/2011 at 9:16pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
by MikeMorin18 / 07/31/2011 at 8:07pm / United States / Work
Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML
by username / 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
by iannie / 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by brebre101 / 07/31/2011 at 5:05am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by The Joker? / 07/31/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Iowa) / Health
Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML
by Tireddddddd / 07/31/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…