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DesB's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
DesB's favorite FMLs
by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
by Michelle / 08/03/2011 at 2:01am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by bigbill / 08/03/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
by t2t2sync / 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML
by theonlychildd1 / 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
by ImScrewed / 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Work
by Username / 08/02/2011 at 2:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Username / 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML
by Emma / 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous