DesB

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DesB

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22297
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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DesB's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:36am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:19am<b>angerytat</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:21am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>JayBunny</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>xDochx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Po0p</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:42pm<b>saidoh</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:47pm<b>rrchocogrl</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:02pm<b>BlueRebel</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:05pm<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 3:10pm<b>koningmax</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:21am<b>skegyptn</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Kenshinwebs</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 6:04am<b>jimx89</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 5:37pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:33am

DesB's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DesB's badges

DesB's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love

Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML

by Michelle / 08/03/2011 at 2:01am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

by bigbill / 08/03/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

by t2t2sync / 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML

by theonlychildd1 / 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

by ImScrewed / 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 2:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

by Username / 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

by Emma / 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous