DesB

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DesB

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22060
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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DesB's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:36am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:19am<b>angerytat</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:21am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>JayBunny</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>xDochx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Po0p</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:42pm<b>saidoh</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:47pm<b>rrchocogrl</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:02pm<b>BlueRebel</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:05pm<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 3:10pm<b>koningmax</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:21am<b>skegyptn</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Kenshinwebs</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 6:04am<b>jimx89</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 5:37pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:33am

DesB's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DesB's badges

DesB's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

by SheaLili / 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML

by ouch / 08/07/2011 at 3:12am / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

by Tim / 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

by en3rg1zer21 / 08/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

by Username / 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm / United States / Health

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

by Username / 08/05/2011 at 10:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy