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DesB's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
DesB's favorite FMLs
by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
by SheaLili / 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Kids
by ouch / 08/07/2011 at 3:12am / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous
by Tim / 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by en3rg1zer21 / 08/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML
by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Username / 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm / United States / Health
Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML
by Username / 08/05/2011 at 10:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…