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DesB

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DesB
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8898
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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DesB's favorite FMLs

Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

#17487465
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (3889)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:44am - love - by 800z - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

#17486446
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (2266)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:54am - health - by Jillian Drute - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

#17468026
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (2361)

On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

#17428761
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (19949)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by elvisfreak5446 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (933)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

#17424744
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you deserved it (8705)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

#17424598
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (2074)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:31am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35022) - you deserved it (7812)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

#17418352
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (4034)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by iliketoastalot - United States (New York)

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed. The lady who waxed my eyebrows also decided to pop the big zit on my forehead. She charged me a dollar extra. FML

#17418334
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30008) - you deserved it (6475)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:35pm - misc - by pizzaface - United States

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

#17418285
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (3841)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm - love - by MrOh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47733) - you deserved it (4468)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (5764)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States



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