Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DesB

Search for a member

DesB
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8885
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DesB's last visitors

xDochxsaidohrrchocogrljimx89Karamelo

DesB's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DesB's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

#17516862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8952) - you deserved it (32064)

On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

#17516576
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (3577)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by Reena (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

#17514634
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (9198)

On 08/18/2011 at 11:22pm - health - by c.hip - United States (California)

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

#17513868
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (3051)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

#17513277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23332) - you deserved it (9488)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm - health - by kaitylait (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (7302)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

#17512711
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (1729)

On 08/18/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bill - United States

Today, the ex I still have feelings for made a post on Facebook announcing her two month anniversary with her boyfriend. She broke up with me less than two weeks ago. FML

#17511125
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/18/2011 at 4:25pm - love - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (2026)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6951) - you deserved it (91496)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (6408)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6718) - you deserved it (63456)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: