DesB

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DesB

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22679
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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DesB's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:36am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:19am<b>angerytat</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:21am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>JayBunny</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>xDochx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Po0p</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:42pm<b>saidoh</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:47pm<b>rrchocogrl</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:02pm<b>BlueRebel</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:05pm<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 3:10pm<b>koningmax</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:21am<b>skegyptn</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Kenshinwebs</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 6:04am<b>jimx89</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 5:37pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:33am

DesB's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DesB's badges

DesB's favorite FMLs

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 3:13am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

by Reena / 08/19/2011 at 2:38am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

by leftwardfoil / 08/19/2011 at 2:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

by c.hip / 08/18/2011 at 11:22pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

by ddeit / 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

by kaitylait / 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Health

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

by Bill / 08/18/2011 at 7:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the ex I still have feelings for made a post on Facebook announcing her two month anniversary with her boyfriend. She broke up with me less than two weeks ago. FML

by Chels / 08/18/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

by Tom / 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

by NaniNarcotic / 08/16/2011 at 6:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous