DesB

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DesB

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22298
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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DesB's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:36am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:46am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 3:19am<b>angerytat</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:21am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:22pm<b>JayBunny</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>xDochx</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Po0p</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:42pm<b>saidoh</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:47pm<b>rrchocogrl</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:02pm<b>BlueRebel</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:05pm<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 3:10pm<b>koningmax</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:21am<b>skegyptn</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Kenshinwebs</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 6:04am<b>jimx89</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 5:37pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 1:33am

DesB's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of DesB's badges

DesB's favorite FMLs

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

by Mark / 09/09/2011 at 12:51am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

by bunkbed / 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

by Zolesz96 / 08/30/2011 at 12:39pm / Hungary (Jasz-Nagykun-Szolnok) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

by shocked / 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

by Username / 08/21/2011 at 5:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 10:08am / United States / Kids

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

by jimmy / 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 3:13am / United States (New York) / Money