DerrickJames

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DerrickJames

55Fucked!

DerrickJamesDerrickJames
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3631
  • Number of comments : 210
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 23-years-old. Clinical psych major. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>jacksavage33</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:08am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 11:59pm<b>moldypickles</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 11:12pm<b>emmadedilemma</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 6:18am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:44pm<b>tellyc</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:25pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:13pm<b>Claire__Kennedy</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 6:11pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 3:34am<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 12:04pm<b>liz_e_7</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:22am<b>bella_nana347</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:37am<b>frnk</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:47pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:31am<b>kawayi</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 8:18pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 8:53pm<b>Frillwee95</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:41pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:07am

Fucked!<b>moldypickles</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:34pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:13pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 7:57pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 7:40am<b>hardcorefan16</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:07pm<b>lulumars</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:59am<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:22pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:21am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:09am<b>luhmae44</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:44pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 8:01am<b>Loloo434</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 9:15pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 10:04am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:44pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:09am<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:28pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 9:34am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 3:36am

DerrickJames's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

by Jesse / 03/20/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

by natty / 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

by SwedishBozo / 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

by Mulee / 03/07/2009 at 7:03am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

by ubbernoob / 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

by MrCanoe / 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

by Mike / 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Geek

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

by apricot / 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

by Dulieu / 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love