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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3068
  • Number of comments : 201
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 23-years-old. Clinical psych major. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>ashcat12</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ScoocyDoong</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 3:48pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 4:44am<b>missadell</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:00am<b>meanleank</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:18pm<b>oj101</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 6:30am<b>xyris</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 3:13pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:32pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 8:03pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:33am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 9:50am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:45am<b>kty93</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:17am<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:07am<b>PDSot</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 10:53pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:34am<b>atomicxsarah</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:09am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:43am

Fucked!<b>lex1459</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 9:34am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 3:36am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:34pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 3:51pm<b>PDSot</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:53am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:58pm<b>meanleank</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:09pm<b>missadell</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:09pm<b>JustMe1600</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:08pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:58am<b>mimidamian</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:23am<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:17pm<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Lacalema</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:08am<b>madinfinite</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:27pm<b>mollyxrose</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:30am<b>tanziir1</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:25am<b>kattykat1</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:28pm

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DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (138152)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15695) - you deserved it (170838)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (513332)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (272562)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18615) - you deserved it (183774)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15234) - you deserved it (148452)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18102) - you deserved it (161690)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (191960)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (85805) - you deserved it (175981)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (200454)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (130288)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (66263) - you deserved it (663507)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36352) - you deserved it (144711)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)

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