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DerrickJames

Offline (the 05/26/2015 at 11:38pm) | Search for a member

DerrickJames

12Fucked!

DerrickJamesDerrickJames
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2665
  • Number of comments : 192
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 23-years-old. Clinical psych major. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>jhellie23</b> - 4 hours ago<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:25pm<b>queen2016</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:32am<b>sappy23</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Ted_brosby</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:14pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:55am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:35am<b>Timmster007</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:47pm<b>jinxy333</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:16pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:12am<b>Mons</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:40am<b>samm_fucked</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>aizai97</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:58am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:11am<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 7:36pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 2:38pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:04am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:48pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:34pm<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:00pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:53pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:21am<b>loveekaytlin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:13am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:53pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:49am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:40am<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:13am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:03am<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:36pm

DerrickJames's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40892) - you deserved it (135307)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13682) - you deserved it (161205)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
691 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36793) - you deserved it (503406)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (262652)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17859) - you deserved it (179720)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

#797923
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13897) - you deserved it (142835)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (157262)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16179) - you deserved it (188950)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79761) - you deserved it (166019)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (196746)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34417) - you deserved it (125323)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
903 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62706) - you deserved it (651490)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

#483516
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33788) - you deserved it (136635)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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