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DerrickJames

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 9:34am) | Search for a member

DerrickJames

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2115
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 22-years-old. Clinical psych major. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>QD</b> - yesterday at 3:33pm<b>BingerGitch</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:44pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:43am<b>NWO666</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:40pm<b>ebarton14</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:00am<b>kittykat8770</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:34pm<b>ShadowlessSpear</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:51am<b>vegasked</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:19am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:01am<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:35pm<b>oj101</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 5:55am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:07pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:32am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:44am

Liked!<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:03am<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:36pm

DerrickJames's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38635) - you deserved it (129779)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (159593)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (486291)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (258569)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16265) - you deserved it (172273)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

#797923
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13797) - you deserved it (141688)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16043) - you deserved it (153722)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15246) - you deserved it (184031)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79284) - you deserved it (164089)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (189137)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (124830)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
879 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60472) - you deserved it (634410)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

#483516
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33684) - you deserved it (135563)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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