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DerrickJames

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

DerrickJames

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1639
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 22-years-old. Model at Hollister co. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>cohnsonj</b> - 12 hours ago<b>WillowB47</b> - yesterday at 2:13am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:13am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:24pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:57pm<b>hey72297</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:43pm<b>fayeaurora</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:21pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:13pm<b>otumboo</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 2:44am<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:45pm<b>tetje</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:46am<b>PossibleMouse24</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:32am<b>quiet_storm09</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Fooflybag</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:43pm<b>parksejun</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:24am<b>delhh</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 8:39am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:14am

DerrickJames's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13501) - you deserved it (158366)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (477015)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (252792)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16170) - you deserved it (171097)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

#797923
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13042) - you deserved it (138569)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15707) - you deserved it (151911)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14448) - you deserved it (179968)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78770) - you deserved it (162534)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

#637114
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16828) - you deserved it (186611)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33693) - you deserved it (123440)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
872 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58578) - you deserved it (622147)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

#483516
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33563) - you deserved it (134766)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (184521)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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