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DerrickJames

Offline (yesterday at 11:44am) | Search for a member

DerrickJames

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1708
  • Number of comments : 187
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 22-years-old. Model at Hollister co. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - yesterday at 4:50am<b>jeepersno</b> - yesterday at 11:58pm<b>fmlnousername</b> - yesterday at 10:40pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:37am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:07am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:51am<b>Moonditch</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:28pm<b>metalscales</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:30pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:40pm<b>saturday00</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:28pm<b>iceyquick</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:47pm<b>x420hypersniperx</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:58am<b>whoaitsamber</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:56am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:32am<b>jazzy_123</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:58am<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:30am<b>friskeh</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:53am

DerrickJames's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82401) - you deserved it (219430)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you deserved it (220164)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34055) - you deserved it (253660)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (139738)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (238971)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (137544)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16422) - you deserved it (125905)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97104) - you deserved it (267267)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (266754)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (226238)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (228531)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (306232)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (139666)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38511) - you deserved it (129292)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)



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