About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently and I play Dota 2. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (1543)
On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (2555)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6285) - you deserved it (126431)
On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4087) - you deserved it (106778)
On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12173) - you deserved it (198669)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9994) - you deserved it (254004)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7671) - you deserved it (95224)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14785) - you deserved it (353493)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21455) - you deserved it (213476)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38738) - you deserved it (569664)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65846) - you deserved it (162770)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13493) - you deserved it (163930)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (186948)
On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (105452)
On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you deserved it (167268)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
