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DerrickJames

Offline (the 04/19/2015 at 10:57am) | Search for a member

DerrickJames

11Fucked!

DerrickJamesDerrickJames
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2510
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About DerrickJames : I was once able to speak Quenya (LOTR Elvish Language) fluently. I hop on FML to help me realize how little my problems are and get a cheap laugh every once in awhile. 23-years-old. Clinical psych major. Feel free to message me!

DerrickJames's page activity

Visits<b>concom</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:02pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:09am<b>TheBlackRussian</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:05am<b>burnthistown</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ayesa</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:49pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 2:01pm<b>Adalicious</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:03am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:48am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:59pm<b>skellingtonfart</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:06am<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:47pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:49pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:13pm<b>shufflyn</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:34am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:14pm<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:41pm<b>merin_94</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:36pm<b>lion2294</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:34pm<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:00pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:53pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:21am<b>loveekaytlin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:13am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:53pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:49am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:40am<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:13am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:03am<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:36pm

DerrickJames's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of DerrickJames's badges

DerrickJames's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29851) - you deserved it (7897)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63193) - you deserved it (4342)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54945) - you deserved it (6358)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53036) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (6416)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39132) - you deserved it (10060)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (2941)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11144) - you deserved it (191591)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (32413)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (151328)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (250865)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18587) - you deserved it (368473)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12508) - you deserved it (135904)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (521764)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)



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