Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Dennisse_47 : Hey all I'm Dennisse :) I'm Puerto Rican, 20, love music, theater is my passion, and I'm currently a Sophomore in college double majoring in Psychology and Criminology. I'm hoping to make it in Criminal or Forensic Psychology one day. My favorite T.V shows of all time are Friends, House, Heroes, Big Bang Theory, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Once Upon a Time, AHS, Arrow, and Dexter. If you enjoy any or all of those shows, you are awesome! I love reading whenever I can and enjoy many types of genres -- although I find myself more intrigued with fiction, mythology, and classical literature. Edgar Allen Poe is a writer I'm deeply fascinated with. I'm also a YouTube and movie junkie. If you've kept on reading this and found that you are not completely bored out of your mind you can shoot me a message. Don't get hurt if I take a while to reply, I'm mostly on the site at night. Follow me on Twitter & Insta if you like (@Little_Red_47) or not! :p Well thanks for stopping by! :D
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Monday 1 September 2014