Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Dennisse_47 : Hey all I'm Dennisse :) I'm Puerto Rican, 20, love music, theater is my passion, and I'm currently a Sophomore in college double majoring in Psychology and Criminology. I'm hoping to make it in Criminal or Forensic Psychology one day. My favorite T.V shows of all time are Friends, House, Heroes, Big Bang Theory, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Once Upon a Time, AHS, Arrow, and Dexter. If you enjoy any or all of those shows, you are awesome! I love reading whenever I can and enjoy many types of genres -- although I find myself more intrigued with fiction, mythology, and classical literature. Edgar Allen Poe is a writer I'm deeply fascinated with. I'm also a YouTube and movie junkie. If you've kept on reading this and found that you are not completely bored out of your mind you can shoot me a message. Don't get hurt if I take a while to reply, I'm mostly on the site at night. Follow me on Twitter & Insta if you like (@Little_Red_47) or not! :p Well thanks for stopping by! :D
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
Monday 1 September 2014