Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Dennisse_47 : Hey all I'm Dennisse :) I'm Puerto Rican, 20, love music, theater is my passion, and I'm currently a Sophomore in college double majoring in Psychology and Criminology. I'm hoping to make it in Criminal or Forensic Psychology one day. My favorite T.V shows of all time are Friends, House, Heroes, Big Bang Theory, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Once Upon a Time, AHS, Arrow, and Dexter. If you enjoy any or all of those shows, you are awesome! I love reading whenever I can and enjoy many types of genres -- although I find myself more intrigued with fiction, mythology, and classical literature. Edgar Allen Poe is a writer I'm deeply fascinated with. I'm also a YouTube and movie junkie. If you've kept on reading this and found that you are not completely bored out of your mind you can shoot me a message. Don't get hurt if I take a while to reply, I'm mostly on the site at night. Follow me on Twitter & Insta if you like (@Little_Red_47) or not! :p Well thanks for stopping by! :D
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Monday 1 September 2014