Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Dennisse_47 : Hey all I'm Dennisse :) I'm Puerto Rican, 20, love music, theater is my passion, and I'm currently a Sophomore in college double majoring in Psychology and Criminology. I'm hoping to make it in Criminal or Forensic Psychology one day. My favorite T.V shows of all time are Friends, House, Heroes, Big Bang Theory, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Once Upon a Time, AHS, Arrow, and Dexter. If you enjoy any or all of those shows, you are awesome! I love reading whenever I can and enjoy many types of genres -- although I find myself more intrigued with fiction, mythology, and classical literature. Edgar Allen Poe is a writer I'm deeply fascinated with. I'm also a YouTube and movie junkie. If you've kept on reading this and found that you are not completely bored out of your mind you can shoot me a message. Don't get hurt if I take a while to reply, I'm mostly on the site at night. Follow me on Twitter & Insta if you like (@Little_Red_47) or not! :p Well thanks for stopping by! :D
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML
Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML
Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014