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About Dennisse_47 : Name's Dennisse (Pronouced "Denise", NOT "Dennis", I will slap the stupid out of you if you pronouce it wrong, it's not that hard to figure out) y soy boricua ;D Love my music especially Prince Royce, Chino y Nacho, and Michael Jackson (R.I.P.) One of my goals in life is to be the female version of House (minus the drug addiction and cane) I'm pretty fun to be around, and love to laugh. Love reading FML's! :P they make me feel better about my day... haha. I Love acting and performing in front of people, but I hate doing speeches in front of people.. and yes, there's a BIG difference!! :P and yeah... anything else you wanna know just hit me up :P
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Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9866) - you deserved it (21768)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6832) - you deserved it (4792)
On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1967) - you deserved it (7074)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1802) - you deserved it (6777)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11297) - you deserved it (2172)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (1864)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25021) - you deserved it (1937)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5887) - you deserved it (1223)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (8194)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (15859)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12178) - you deserved it (1070)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (4773)
On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (2209)
On 12/08/2011 at 4:14am - love - by disappoint - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22167) - you deserved it (3469)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8981) - you deserved it (2856)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States
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