About Demetra : I am weird; I hope you are too.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (9436)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27132) - you deserved it (4140)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (5264)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59115) - you deserved it (31009)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42845) - you deserved it (16228)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142365) - you deserved it (32749)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (203565) - you deserved it (59421)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58460) - you deserved it (7790)
On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (57574)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28616) - you deserved it (47052)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (209721) - you deserved it (45116)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (103599) - you deserved it (17463)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5430) - you deserved it (52278)
On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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