DefiningDivine

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Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 7:37am)

DefiningDivine

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3736
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DefiningDivine : Add 200 comments to my total amount.

I'm serious most of the time, but sometimes I just mess around.

Docbastard.blogspot.com is interesting, check it out.

DefiningDivine's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:30pm<b>Coland</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 8:36pm<b>rshweky</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:25pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:18pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:48am<b>nana_star</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:19am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:40pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 2:39pm<b>Verst</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 7:49am<b>baconator666</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:14pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:59am<b>CaiDog</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:30am<b>xostaramaraxo</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:04am<b>ken29</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:08pm<b>priiest</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 8:35pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 2:40am<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 7:38pm

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:18pm

DefiningDivine's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of DefiningDivine's badges

DefiningDivine's favorite FMLs

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Love

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

by poohanne / 01/12/2013 at 1:36am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

by :| / 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

by dollarstorepwnr / 03/19/2011 at 1:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

by SpideyFace / 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

by SpideyFace / 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

by badteacher / 10/24/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

by konichiwa / 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

by BEE / 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

by Alice / 08/01/2009 at 4:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML

by shouldhaveknown / 06/26/2009 at 10:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love