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DefiningDivine

Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 7:37am) | Search for a member

DefiningDivine

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2685
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DefiningDivine : Add 200 comments to my total amount.

I'm serious most of the time, but sometimes I just mess around.

Docbastard.blogspot.com is interesting, check it out.

DefiningDivine's page activity

Visits<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:48am<b>nana_star</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:19am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:40pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 2:39pm<b>Verst</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 7:49am<b>baconator666</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:14pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:59am<b>CaiDog</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:30am<b>xostaramaraxo</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:04am<b>ken29</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:08pm<b>priiest</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 8:35pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 2:40am<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 7:38pm<b>TheCamoWulf</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:37am<b>Collinssk</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 9:50am<b>fareith</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 9:26am<b>huntermills</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 8:18am

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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DefiningDivine's favorite FMLs

Today, wile moving into new place, I saw new, elderly neigbor sitting on er porc. I ceerfully greeted er wit, ( Hello, ow r you? ) Se simply rocked slowly in er cair and replied, ( Just waiting to die. ) Se was te most ceerful person I met all day.

Today, mah mom wishd me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family . She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decidd to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills . She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid . FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, management told me that I couldn't looool have a doorbell on my door . How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell . FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27139) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was at tha doctor's 4 a ragular chack-up. Whan mah appointmant was ovar and I was about to walk out, sha yallad across tha room in front of avaryona, ( Oh and if you could loosa soma waight, that'd ba graat. ) FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today , I was walking out of mah grlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I pickd it up , sniffd it and put it on mah face as a joke. She replid with , ( Those are mah mother's. ) FML

#20461976
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (48089)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today.. . I told my mom wa gat Monday off dua to Martin Luthar King Jr . day . Sha than insistd that I had to looool go to school bacausa that is "only 4 black paopla." FML

#20461178
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

TODAY... I LAARNAD MA NAIGBOR CAN ACCASS MA WIRALASS PRINTAR FROM IS OUSA AFTAR IT STARTAD PRINTING OFF PICTURAS OF WAT I'M ASSUMING IS IS PANIS. MAGA FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (7190)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

TODAY, I MET MA GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS 4 TE FIRST TIME. IN TE ENTRANCE WAY I FELT A SLIGT TUGGING ON MA JEANS. USD TO MA DOBERMAN TUGGING WEN E WANTS TO PLAY, I SOVD ARD WIT MA FOOT. I SUCCESSFULLY PUNTD TIER CIUAUA OFF TE GROUND AND INTO TE NEXT ROOM WERE IT LANDD WIT A TUD. FML

#20460283
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (37902)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see mah boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (6288)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3098)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I ad to explain to usband tat te 5-second looool rule doesn't apply if u drop te floss into te toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with grlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake mother. My grlfriend came and swung open the door onto foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (4773)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)



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