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DefiningDivine

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DefiningDivine

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1270
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DefiningDivine : Add 200 comments to my total amount.

I'm serious most of the time, but sometimes I just mess around.

Docbastard.blogspot.com is interesting, check it out.

DefiningDivine's page activity

Visits<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:48am<b>nana_star</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:19am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 2:40pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 2:39pm<b>Verst</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 7:49am<b>baconator666</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:14pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:59am<b>CaiDog</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 10:30am<b>xostaramaraxo</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 8:04am<b>ken29</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:08pm<b>priiest</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 8:35pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 2:40am<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 7:38pm<b>TheCamoWulf</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:37am<b>Collinssk</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 9:50am<b>fareith</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 9:26am<b>huntermills</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 8:18am<b>Dansbanan</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 8:15am

DefiningDivine's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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DefiningDivine's favorite FMLs

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (3997)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (2819)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (6375)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (3821)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12260) - you deserved it (47767)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36426) - you deserved it (2588)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (7009)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (36361)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34311) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (4615)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (7913)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)



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