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Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8477) - you deserved it (23944)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (1616)
On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (21632)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13170) - you deserved it (19140)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (4935)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (1420)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (2200)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9588) - you deserved it (36174)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (7523) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/31/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by heallven - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8766) - you deserved it (16680)
On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (2557)
On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States
Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33124) - you deserved it (2021)
On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (7025)
On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8846) - you deserved it (38311)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39pm - love - by Kasey103 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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