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DefiningDivine

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DefiningDivine
  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DefiningDivine : Add 200 comments to my total amount.

I'm serious most of the time, but sometimes I just mess around.

Docbastard.blogspot.com is interesting, check it out.

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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DefiningDivine's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39824) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40769) - you deserved it (9936)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36380) - you deserved it (10971)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

#20842136
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (4053)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm - love - by WartCream - United States (Kansas)

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (5220)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

#20822231
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (4226)

On 08/05/2013 at 3:10pm - kids - by OhBoy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50177) - you deserved it (6223)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

#20712353
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51597) - you deserved it (3771)

On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74576) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (60762)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49489) - you deserved it (14985)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91787) - you deserved it (5471)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83937) - you deserved it (5189)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62114) - you deserved it (7545)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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