Deathhound

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Deathhound

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2662
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Deathhound : I'm just a young woman trying to entertain myself with funny things and other interesting hobbies I have.

Deathhound's page activity

Visits<b>jairolover</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:05am<b>lanai80</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:25pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:35pm<b>dehvi</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:54pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:15pm<b>THEDUDE1553566</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:18pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:04am<b>gradius1002</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Ethann44</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 6:36pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:28am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:04am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>ImRJ</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:58pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:57pm<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:53am

Fucked!<b>dehvi</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:54pm

Deathhound's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Deathhound's badges

Deathhound's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

by Jaeda / 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

by Smash_Mouth / 03/08/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy