Deathhound

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Deathhound

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2792
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Deathhound : I'm just a young woman trying to entertain myself with funny things and other interesting hobbies I have.

Deathhound's page activity

Visits<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 3:27pm<b>ozzytheoso8</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:51am<b>jairolover</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:05am<b>lanai80</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:17pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:25pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:35pm<b>dehvi</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:54pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:15pm<b>THEDUDE1553566</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:18pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:04am<b>gradius1002</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Ethann44</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 6:36pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:28am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 4:04am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>ImRJ</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:58pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:38pm

Fucked!<b>dehvi</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:54pm

Deathhound's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Deathhound's badges

Deathhound's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love