About DeathBunny218 : :
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste,
I've been around for a long long year; stolen many a man's soul and faith.
I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain,
Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (5438)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23019) - you deserved it (1765)
On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (2020)
On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16091) - you deserved it (4791)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (1806)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (14863)
On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13003) - you deserved it (4487)
On 02/07/2012 at 7:04am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24499) - you deserved it (2717)
On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (3875)
On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States
Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (4631)
On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (2021)
On 02/04/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by lrgenesis - United States (Oregon)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (6860)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (2262)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47964) - you deserved it (3722)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (2486)
On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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