About DeathBunny218 : :
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste,
I've been around for a long long year; stolen many a man's soul and faith.
I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain,
Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (2466)
On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16160) - you deserved it (2504)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Ameel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11093) - you deserved it (24454)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (8888)
On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7358) - you deserved it (14441)
On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (1715)
On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (6082)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (6082)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (2263)
On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5080) - you deserved it (33459)
On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8122) - you deserved it (19707)
On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16516) - you deserved it (1496)
On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15598) - you deserved it (2005)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States
Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4725) - you deserved it (16149)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States
Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23602) - you deserved it (1314)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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