About DeathBunny218 : :
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste,
I've been around for a long long year; stolen many a man's soul and faith.
I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain,
Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5451) - you deserved it (16862)
On 04/27/2012 at 12:29am - health - by Weak Disposition (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17079) - you deserved it (1733)
On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17563) - you deserved it (2300)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13451) - you deserved it (6815)
On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden
Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (1911)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5200) - you deserved it (16363)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by monkeycannon7 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6344) - you deserved it (45022)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (4284)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17478) - you deserved it (1575)
On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15347) - you deserved it (2846)
On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16850) - you deserved it (1343)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (8742)
On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (1257)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Friday 24 May 2013
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