About DeathBunny218 : :
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste,
I've been around for a long long year; stolen many a man's soul and faith.
I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain,
Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (1536)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13262) - you deserved it (3130)
On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16289) - you deserved it (3582)
On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (1764)
On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)
Today, I decided to show my friends the picture I drew, picturing the four of us in a zombie apocalypse setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend and I'm creeping them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19096) - you deserved it (6507)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36212)
On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (4387)
On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6073) - you deserved it (14224)
On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16112) - you deserved it (2736)
On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States
Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12131) - you deserved it (1496)
Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (1044)
On 09/26/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by dontrapeme - United States
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (1688)
On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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