About DeathBunny218 : :
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste,
I've been around for a long long year; stolen many a man's soul and faith.
I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain,
Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate.
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game.
About DeathBunny218 : :
DeathBunny218's FML badges
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
DeathBunny218's favorite FMLs
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
by I Tried / 01/29/2016 at 5:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML
by 404: Sanity Not Found / 01/27/2016 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/23/2016 at 7:08pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
by Jack / 01/09/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Macysdayparade8 / 12/08/2015 at 11:01pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anon / 12/05/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
by killmenow / 12/03/2015 at 12:33am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by aj513 / 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health
by The horror... / 11/11/2015 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Health
Today, at a bar, I overheard two attractive men speaking in French. I went over and tried to introduce myself with what little French I know. They looked at me like I was crazy and then said in English, "What are you doing?" Turns out they weren't speaking French. FML
by TwirlyWhirl / 11/09/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by shh / 10/09/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML
by Bex98 / 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML
by ForeverAlone / 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel… Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break… Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as…