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Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you totally deserved it (3965)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7151) - you totally deserved it (32551)
On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailor started out with "Most babies are accidents..." right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39662) - you totally deserved it (2282)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you totally deserved it (8256)
On 06/15/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by shaverguy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55502) - you totally deserved it (3529)
On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you totally deserved it (54613)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you totally deserved it (4816)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14053) - you totally deserved it (32054)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53216) - you totally deserved it (1996)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9225) - you totally deserved it (35060)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (120533) - you totally deserved it (5223)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49961) - you totally deserved it (12777)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17847) - you totally deserved it (53432)
On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83433) - you totally deserved it (11550)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64905) - you totally deserved it (12350)
On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)
