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DeadEye2010's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
by Timv86 / 02/16/2010 at 3:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML
by safariboo / 02/09/2010 at 10:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
by nonameLiz / 02/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 9:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 4:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
by Janer88 / 11/30/2009 at 12:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by moon_paw / 11/28/2009 at 11:17am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
by costcocondoms / 07/23/2009 at 1:23am / Mexico (Baja California) / Love
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by sexychica / 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Ohai / 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
- Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.…