Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dcm210

Search for a member

Dcm210
  • Town/Country : Ormond Beach,FL, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 February 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 3440
  • Number of comments : 878
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Dcm210 : My name is Daniel and I'm trying to get into computer repair. I like listening to music like Staind,Korn,The Used,Silverstein,Disturbed and other music as well.

Dcm210's last visitors

vlalamFelicityRoseTaterbug716Scopeland2atl904emmy165hockeygyrl4NevracceptdefeatMeghan_cleansrjones1991opj77

Dcm210's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Dcm210's badges

Dcm210's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (6580)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17983) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28450) - you deserved it (6189)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (1919)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

#20105847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (1249)

On 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by RIP (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (6152)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25490) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

#19449601
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (4814)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML

#19231492
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (1749)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14345) - you deserved it (26884)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71956)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (6486)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

#18864216
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (5058)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend we should start seeing other people. She said "Don't worry, I'm already way ahead of you." FML

#18840950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (8720)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:09am - love - by too slow - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: