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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (50223)
On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (71457)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (10529)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50859) - you deserved it (21107)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55731) - you deserved it (9516)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40852) - you deserved it (6501)
On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, was my first day working for a real estate company. just as I sat in my car my pants ripped hugely from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants and three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (6448)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (9638)
On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by nobleach - United States (Georgia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177212) - you deserved it (25377)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44623) - you deserved it (4424)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34253) - you deserved it (12094)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60734) - you deserved it (2758)
On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60105) - you deserved it (13170)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38721) - you deserved it (569536)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68918) - you deserved it (16882)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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