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Dboy23

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Dboy23
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 12827
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (9041)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (4690) - you deserved it (22367)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

#6624561 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (9598) - you deserved it (22114)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (1809)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311 (491)

I agree, your life sucks (12925) - you deserved it (53965)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML

#6554533 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (6623) - you deserved it (46090)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by horribledriver (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

#6418903 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (5478) - you deserved it (23017)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

#6388093 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (1569)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (8433) - you deserved it (46073)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (1100)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML

#6322729 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (12789) - you deserved it (23731)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (3783) - you deserved it (22398)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (18704) - you deserved it (10124)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

#6211440 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (14463) - you deserved it (9707)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by lauren_rox (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

#6166961 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you deserved it (2707)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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