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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3140) - you deserved it (5853)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14595) - you deserved it (1386)
On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States
Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5607) - you deserved it (1831)
On 03/31/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by LiveLoveLys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (2825)
On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4873) - you deserved it (2627)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7592) - you deserved it (789)
On 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by daninalani (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5879) - you deserved it (15373)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (3024)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada
Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11092) - you deserved it (1063)
On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (1619)
On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States
Today, I received a single, handmade valentines card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7493) - you deserved it (1601)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11277) - you deserved it (716)
On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8364) - you deserved it (1814)
On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (1709)
On 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by mattdevil - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (3402)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
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