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Offline (the 10/07/2015 at 12:14pm) | Search for a member
About DawnofDark : My life is pretty much Anime, Coding, Gaming, Fishing, Music and Rugby. I like to enjoy the small things that others don't normally enjoy. I like to be honest but I am probably the most secretive person you will meet. I don't break promises and I hate people who do. And I hate people who tell secrets that aren't theres too tell. Feel free to message me if you want too. I will reply within a day or two. Also I play League of Legends a lot so if you are interested in adding me send me a message about that.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Monday 5 October 2015