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DawnDreamer99

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DawnDreamer99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 August 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1945
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DawnDreamer99's page activity

Visits<b>Tears_2_Roses</b> - the 05/04/2011 at 2:38pm<b>1guy_2balls</b> - the 11/28/2009 at 9:58pm<b>drewauman</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 1:16pm<b>blargity</b> - the 08/08/2009 at 6:56pm

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DawnDreamer99's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

#4662087
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51980) - you deserved it (7000)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45189) - you deserved it (4478)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

#4580514
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58523) - you deserved it (7148)

On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

#4555175
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43797) - you deserved it (20994)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12862) - you deserved it (50186)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (78603)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67747) - you deserved it (7609)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46148) - you deserved it (21083)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (62386)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

#4428551
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8865) - you deserved it (67632)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by hitandrun (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45352) - you deserved it (2494)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49526) - you deserved it (6430)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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