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David199619

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David199619

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About David199619 : Beep

David199619's page activity

Visits<b>justin1205</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:06pm<b>bestpokemon</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:46pm

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David199619's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (6020)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

#18306408
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you deserved it (40691)

On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

#18144620
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10366) - you deserved it (24899)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (3552)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, I lent my sister $1000 because she and her husband were in some debt. They used the money to go gambling in Vegas and won a major jackpot. They won't even give me a cut. FML

#17948553
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (5729)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:04am - money - by cc - United States (Montana)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39276) - you deserved it (5288)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

#17565560
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (8555)

On 08/24/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (44389)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

#17413633
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (5544)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML

#17182266
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (2683)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

#16628942
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (9786)

On 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

#16294930
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16409) - you deserved it (63607)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Derek Lee - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47535) - you deserved it (8096)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47535) - you deserved it (8096)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)



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