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David199619

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David199619
  • Town/Country : East Bangor, My house, NJ, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1087
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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David199619's favorite FMLs

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

#18374727
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18463) - you deserved it (2170)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

#18368736
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6130) - you deserved it (34427)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

#18368736
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6130) - you deserved it (34427)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32136) - you deserved it (2289)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

#18355886
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14328) - you deserved it (25772)

On 11/26/2011 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27099) - you deserved it (14182)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6923) - you deserved it (56038)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (8082)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

#18346585
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (6884)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43540) - you deserved it (5331)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

#18343392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Jessie - United States

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (4348)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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