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David199619

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David199619

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1402
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About David199619 : Beep

David199619's page activity

Visits<b>justin1205</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:06pm<b>bestpokemon</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:46pm

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David199619's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (3529)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

#18501912
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (2647)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:00am - work - by Anonymous - Malaysia

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

#18500551
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8496) - you deserved it (32175)

On 12/13/2011 at 1:32am - health - by photomark - United States

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17133) - you deserved it (43614)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (2294)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (2294)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (18429)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (5141)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35133) - you deserved it (8054)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (5302)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (4944)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9531) - you deserved it (59122)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14935) - you deserved it (22976)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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