David199619

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David199619

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2846
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About David199619 : Beep

David199619's page activity

Visits<b>js48</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:56am<b>justin1205</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:06pm<b>bestpokemon</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:46pm

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David199619's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 6:42am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the only time in my life that I have ever received an A+ for something. Thank you, eBay buyer. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 10:39am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

by tessamarque / 04/05/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I twisted my ankle during a round of golf, after trying to do a fancy jumping high five. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

by stuckonrepeat / 03/08/2012 at 3:06am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML

by Me / 03/07/2012 at 1:24pm / United States / Work

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

by slickrick22 / 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous