Dave23

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Dave23

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2716
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dave23's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Dave23's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

by laury / 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

by NotAModel / 04/30/2012 at 11:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

by mmmtortilla / 04/24/2012 at 10:03am / Spain (Pais Vasco) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy