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Dave23

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Dave23

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  • Number of visits : 747
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dave23's FML badges

50 favourites

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Dave23's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (9315)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11127) - you deserved it (36366)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

#19594950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16415) - you deserved it (30002)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (8848)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21582) - you deserved it (7807)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33669) - you deserved it (9958)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

#19552915
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (3370)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (8715)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (3077)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

#19531341
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (2437)

On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9591) - you deserved it (23941)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (3829)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon



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