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Dave23

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Dave23

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  • Number of visits : 870
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dave23's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Dave23's badges

Dave23's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7507) - you deserved it (24066)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (27580)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

#19864219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (2609)

On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23282) - you deserved it (11096)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (3063)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (2726)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42904) - you deserved it (3925)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (15488)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

#19771597
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (2311)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (2193)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

#19720443
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (36515)

On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (8646)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States



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Friday 17 October 2014

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