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Dave23

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Dave23

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 879
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Dave23's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Dave23's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

#19994423
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (5428)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7985) - you deserved it (46423)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

#19994293
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (2070)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (4270)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14204) - you deserved it (37538)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (26539)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19493) - you deserved it (4007)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (5710)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (5027)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (3267)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32474) - you deserved it (3261)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (2947)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11416) - you deserved it (39234)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (4997)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

#19923012
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (2736)

On 07/11/2012 at 9:29am - intimacy - by Sherry - United States (Connecticut)



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