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DashFTW

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DashFTW

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 420
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DashFTW : Knowing I'm a brony is all you need to know.

DashFTW's page activity

Visits<b>jarrettd</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:43pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 10:59pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 5:32am<b>fuzz97</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 1:20am

DashFTW's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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DashFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61646) - you deserved it (13454)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62287) - you deserved it (4982)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43505) - you deserved it (7430)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58780) - you deserved it (3980)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49842) - you deserved it (3142)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40766) - you deserved it (18013)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69167) - you deserved it (3363)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47486) - you deserved it (5443)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40358) - you deserved it (2130)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (2696) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (6076)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (2346)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (1571)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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