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Darkblitz24

Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 3:29pm) | Search for a member

Darkblitz24

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 291
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>deadpool97</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 12:42am

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Darkblitz24's favorite FMLs

Today I fell asleep wit luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up I found tat someone ad opened bags and stolen all socks. mega FML

#21255144
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37317) - you deserved it (7271)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today , I got lost , and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well , because the next time I passed by , the police were waiting 4 me. FML

#20776976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (3926)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I let 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on phone while I made her lunch!! I returned to find she had dropped phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends!! FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47448) - you deserved it (17422)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today... after I got turned down fir yet another job... dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is alway a stable market. FML

#20776199
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56196) - you deserved it (5978)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

TODAY, AS PART OF MY VETERINARY DEGREE, I HAD TO DEMONSTRATE HOW TO JERK OFF A DOG IN FRONT OF MY ENTIRE CLASS. AFTERWARDS, THE LECTURER SAID THAT I HAVE THE 'MAGIC TOUCH'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59339) - you deserved it (6965)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100063) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today... my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fre to it. When I lit it in the trash can... huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fre. FML

#20775563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (37572)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teacher don't intervene enoughhen student are bieng bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by mah teacher fir "not choosing a seriou topic." FML

#20647729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49196) - you deserved it (5553)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

TODAY... I WAS READING AND STARTED LAUGHING AT A FUNNY PART IN MAH BOOK. MY MOM THEN BITCHED ME OUT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I WAS LAUGHING AT HER. SHE CALLED ME A LIAR AFTER I EXPLAINED MYSELF. HER LOGIC? "BOOKS AREN'T FUNNY". FML

#20647629
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah 20-year-old daughter staggered into mah room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancake for her . FML

#20524572
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (7253)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalizd a deal!! I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointd out that he was looool just trying to make my breasts jiggle!! I'm a man!! mega FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (5666)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today... I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia... she smild and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughd. FML

the police arrivd at door... telling me child had been caught vandalizing. A boyho lookd about 15 huggd me and said... "Hey... mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learnd that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learnd this first-hand when mah 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't ave a air tie... so I used a tong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daugter. I trew on my clotes... drove to pick er up... went to te store... and went fir ice cream... tong still in my air. mega FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12841) - you deserved it (42165)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States



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