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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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DarkPrince

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DarkPrince
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1216
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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DarkPrince's favorite FMLs

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

#17920889 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (4363)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

I agree, your life sucks (12745) - you deserved it (1989)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

I agree, your life sucks (6469) - you deserved it (25276)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (5165)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (28380) - you deserved it (4606)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (13939) - you deserved it (9423)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (8581)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (7654)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (8366)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

#12126725 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (2952)

On 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by robm (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673 (321)

I agree, your life sucks (25768) - you deserved it (12162)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (3175)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (2668)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (4939)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)