Dannie

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Dannie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7225
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Dannie : - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My life, is fucked ♥

My name is Danielle,
I speak the truth,
I come on here to get a good laugh
KITTY CAT
I fail at life
I'm inlove with a gay guy who will never feel the same way about me, obviously
I have over 1000 visits to my lame ass profile
I think Iain is amazing at making me feel better ♥
I like to add things to my list of how fucked up my life is when I think of them
I got dumped by a text
My sister ate my last yogurt

Someday I hope to have as much knowledge as google.

FUCK MY LIFE ♥ = D
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Dannie's page activity

Visits<b>will5801</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 10:17pm<b>minxxx</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:36pm<b>EpicGoatman</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:21pm<b>Tamiaxoxo00</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:39pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:28pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 10:49pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:07pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:37pm<b>WalkTheOtherWay</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 6:29pm<b>Pop_And_Lock</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:18am<b>ItzHendit</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:12am<b>Novadi</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 8:55pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:28pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:31pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:52am<b>zelife</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:48pm<b>TrustStolen</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:26am

Fucked!<b>will5801</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:17am

Dannie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dannie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

by dad / 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

by asdfasdf / 03/03/2009 at 10:38am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

by Peter80 / 03/03/2009 at 9:55am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Work

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

by imanidiot / 03/03/2009 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

by lucy / 03/03/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

by badtrip / 03/02/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

by Kelly / 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

by pacificbeach / 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

by Stairway2Heaven / 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

by catlady / 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was recorded a video for my friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressed for a shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I hadn't posted it. A few minutes later I started getting a lot of notifications. Everyone was commenting on my nude video. FML

by paige / 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Connecticut) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

by sadguy / 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy