Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dannie

Search for a member

Dannie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6664
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Dannie : - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My life, is fucked ♥

My name is Danielle,
I speak the truth,
I come on here to get a good laugh
KITTY CAT
I fail at life
I'm inlove with a gay guy who will never feel the same way about me, obviously
I have over 1000 visits to my lame ass profile
I think Iain is amazing at making me feel better ♥
I like to add things to my list of how fucked up my life is when I think of them
I got dumped by a text
My sister ate my last yogurt

Someday I hope to have as much knowledge as google.

FUCK MY LIFE ♥ = D
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dannie's page activity

Visits<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:06pm<b>cakelol</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:22am<b>RandomPrius</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:17am<b>miztigers53</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:18am<b>wGx14</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Mwespinter</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 5:34am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 8:42pm<b>rhsjr7</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 12:54am<b>auro7</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:42pm<b>sexysaltshaker</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 5:52pm<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 9:37pm<b>JM71195</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 12:51am<b>Dusksoul2001</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 8:54pm<b>Han1156</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 4:00pm<b>santiagobaptista</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 5:36pm<b>technolove</b> - the 05/25/2012 at 1:46pm<b>What_Willis_is_t</b> - the 04/21/2011 at 9:19pm<b>crystalmethod</b> - the 10/05/2010 at 5:21am

Dannie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dannie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (76962)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71589) - you deserved it (20090)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14292) - you deserved it (66813)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (138176)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

#192617
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42979) - you deserved it (5375)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by lucy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

#190354
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35415) - you deserved it (30310)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:21pm - love - by badtrip (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

#186916
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37079) - you deserved it (8589)

On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

#185319
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12745) - you deserved it (48982)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

#185042
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62134) - you deserved it (17079)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by Stairway2Heaven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

#171623
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49587) - you deserved it (8226)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was recorded a video for my friend on her wall, I forgot to click "stop recording" and got undressed for a shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I hadn't posted it. A few minutes later I started getting a lot of notifications. Everyone was commenting on my nude video. FML

#154846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17019) - you deserved it (45905)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by paige (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (252828) - you deserved it (59796)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122026) - you deserved it (22167)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50884) - you deserved it (20820)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: